Let me start off by saying that I think all animal rights groups are propagandist terrorists. Now, if you're still reading, you may actually listen to what I have to say and contemplate it with some degree of critical thinking. I don't want to waste anybody's time, and if my opinion pisses you off to the point where you don't want to hear what I have to say, it's more than likely falling on deaf ears anyway.

I'm a fairly reasonable guy, and a scientific one at that, so you may wonder why I paint animal activist groups with such a harsh brush. Well, believe it or not, I actually have reasons for my opinions. Real reasons.

Where I work puts me in the company of a variety of people and groups. One time I was in the company of an animal rights group. Now, I'm the type of person who, despite whatever my beliefs may be, I want to learn as much as I can about something before I form an opinion on it. So when the group was there, I took the time to read the newsletter they had brought with them. Being cynical, I found much of it rather amusing, but there was one quote that really caught me.

"There is no scientific proof to show that seals have a negative effect on the cod population."

Wow! That's amazing. You see, I was under the impression that the rate of growth of the population of cod, was determined by three main variables: the current population of the cod stock, the populations of their food sources, and the populations of their predators. Seals eat fish. This decreases the rate of growth. In order to offset this, seals must either:

  • A) prey on another predator of cod, more than they prey on cod themselves, or
  • B) increase cod procreation.

    While many males, when faced with something that is intent on consuming them, will excrete liquid from their reproductive organs, I don't believe this helps in the fertilizing process.

    So that leaves us with A. Well, what do seals eat? They eat a variety of fish and invertebrates. What eats cod? Greenland halibut, squid, seabirds, whales and humans. Well, Greenland halibut eat juvenile cod, and seals eat Greenland halibut. Money! But wait,

    While cod is not their main prey, harps seals are considered the biggest single predators of cod and could also compete with them for food because of the quantities of forage species they consume.

    Well, so more seals eat cod than Greenland halibut eat cod. Darn. What else do we have on the list? Squid, seabirds? Nope. Whales? I really doubt it. Humans? Maybe in cartoons, but, no.

    So in conclusion, seals eat cod, and do so at a greater rate than they eat predators of cod. I didn't even bother mentioning that they also eat the same things that the cod eat. That doesn't help matters.

    Here we have mathematical proof that seals are detrimental to cod stocks. Math is a science, (or so my diploma says). So I guess that means we have scientific proof. What's that? Inflammatory propaganda? Yeah, that's what I thought.

    I would now like to take an intermission to make an apology. That last part was long, technical, dry, and probably boring. I'm sorry. I needed to get my point across. From here on I assure you it gets more interesting. (I hope).

    Okay, so why do I say I believe these to be terrorists? I'll tell you. On April 2, 2005, a sealer's life became a nightmare.

    [R.G.'s] name, mailing address, phone number and the name of his wife were listed on an April 2 posting to a weblog attached to the [activist groups'] website.

    April 2 was a Saturday. It wasn't until Thursday that the link to the weblog was made inactive. That's five days this group assisted zealots in making a hard-working man's life a living hell. He and his received phone calls and letters saying, people were going to skin him, kill him, and kill his family. The site doesn't have a message board, so it's not that this information merely went unmoderated. The site administrator actually had to post the link manually. Here's what the leader of the group had to say about the matter.
    "As for him getting any threats or anything, you know, I know nothing about that."

    Are these acts unscrupulous? I think so, but you can draw your own conclusions.

    If you read the title of this article, you may be wondering what this all has to do with money. Well, as you may or may not know, animal rights groups rely heavily on donations to support their campaigns. Donations from average people who feel like they're doing something to prevent cruelty to animals. But where does this money go? Well, I don't know where all the money goes, just some of it. First let me say that the sealers who are on the receiving end of the protesting spend almost the entirety of the hunt living on the ships they carry their catch in. Where do the protesters stay? Are they roughing it out on the ice too? Hell no. They're staying in a four-and-a-half star hotel, eating cookies in the afternoon, drinking scotch in the evening, and renting a helicopter to take them out to the floes every morning. And how much does this cost joe public? Hell if I know. But the hotel bill alone rings in at roughly $26,000 CND, (about $22,000 US). That's just the Hotel bill! That doesn't count food, recreation, and the cost of the helicopter.

    I hope my disgust for these groups hasn't sullied your reading of this article. I just want to tell people who donate to these groups, think twice. You might be buying someone a late night glenfidditch on the rocks.